Welcome to Delicious or Distressing, where we rate recent food memes, videos, and other entertainment news. Last week we discussed Baskin Robbins’ Rocky Road (kind of) containing beef.
Espresso martinis have been hot for a minute now, with no signs of waning in popularity. So naturally, Dunkin’ is hopping on the caffeine-and-booze bandwagon with its own spiked iced coffees, dropping in grocery stores at the end of the summer. Alongside the canned coffee drinks, it’ll also debut a line of spiked ice teas. As an unabashed espresso martini enthusiast, I’d happily partake in Dunkin’s new canned treat, and I can only imagine that the uptake among the Dunkin’-loving masses of America will be enormous. America runs on boozy Dunkin’.
Also this week, diners in Italy were startled to find a $22 cake-cutting fee tacked onto their bill. But cake-cutting fees are actually quite normal and justified—labor is not free, my friends! Forever NBC mainstay Al Roker announced that his favorite breakfast is bacon and eggs between two donuts. While Roker purported to have invented the concept, the donut breakfast sandwich isn’t necessarily novel—but he plays by a rulebook of his own making, and we support that. Lastly, a woman is suing Eataly after slipping on a piece of prosciutto, in what could very well be the first lawsuit of its particular kind. Prove me wrong.
Here’s what’s happening in food moments on the internet this week.
Threatening the livelihoods of Bostonians everywhere, Dunkin’ is unleashing Dunkin’ Spiked, a line of alcoholic coffees and teas, late this month. With an ABV of 6%, the boozy coffee comes in four flavors: Original, Caramel, Mocha, and Vanilla. With an ABV of 5%, the tea comes in Slightly Sweet, Half & Half, Strawberry Dragonfruit, and Mango Pineapple flavors. The drinks will be available in grocery stores across 12 states. As a former New Englander and lover of a wicked good espresso mahtini, I’m simultaneously thrilled and stressed out by this release. Everyone’s getting into the canned booze biz—I’m just recovering from the news that SunnyD, the orange drink beloved among schoolchildren, has grown up and launched a vodka seltzer. America already runs on Dunkin’ and now it’ll be drunken on Dunkin’. Containing multitudes, I’ll rate this a 3.9/5 delicious and distressing. —Karen Yuan, culture editor
I will admit that I was slightly startled last year when I brought my own birthday cake to a restaurant and they charged $40 to take it to the kitchen, slice it, and bring it back to the table. Still, they took the time and care to dust each piece with a shower of powdered sugar and place them on delicate china plates. I’m not saying that’s $40 worth of labor, but I get why restaurants are prone to up-charging when diners like myself decide that, instead of buying dessert, we’re going to just bring our own. That’s not how restaurants work! Fair enough! So I was both amused and (minorly) sympathetic when a recent New York Post story described a restaurant’s $22 cake-cutting fee as “whopping.” To be fair, the incident (if you could call it that) took place in Italy, and maybe the diners weren’t able to translate the charge ahead of bringing their own cake. Still, if you really can’t stand the idea of a restaurant charging you for bringing your own dessert, maybe just order the ice cream. 2/5 distressing. —Elazar Sontag, restaurant editor
God bless Al Roker’s simple ass. This guy, America’s fun, meteorologist uncle, spends hours talking every day on national TV, saying whatever he damn well pleases. The banger he brought us this week on hour three (three!) of Today: “A couple of glazed doughnuts with a fried egg and some bacon” makes a great breakfast sandwich. Sure! Why not!? After his co-hosts gave him some flack, he bravely declared, “I’m making it a thing!” My love, I’m sorry to say, it is already a thing. Dunkin’ did it in 2013, and intrepid regional spots have been doing versions since. Roker can be forgiven for not keeping tabs on the breakfast sandwich news cycle, because if I had to vamp for hours on end with my morning news co-hosts, I too would say literally the first thing that popped into my mind. I’m giving this one a savory, sweet, sticky, 3.9/5 delicious. —Sam Stone, staff writer
Welcome to the great prosciutto slip of 2022. Spoiler: This is not a joyous Italian food festival but…an American lawsuit. In October last year, a Bostonian named Alice Cohen was allegedly cruising towards the sample section of her local Eataly when—allora!—she slipped on a rogue piece of prosciutto. Cohen hit the deck, fracturing her ankle in the process, according to court documents. Now, she’s suing Eataly Boston for failing to ensure its floor was “free from unnecessarily dangerous conditions.” Cohen claims to have incurred $7,500 in medical expenses, and the lawsuit states there is a “reasonable likelihood” costs could exceed $50,000. Nobody wants to see people fracturing their ankles whilst perusing cured meats, nor paying out the wazoo for medical care. But is there not also a “reasonable likelihood” one might find an abundance of prosciutto in an Italian supermarket? It feels like this one could have been settled somewhere between the limoncello and Mozzarella aisles. That’s an exceptionally salty 4.1/5 distressing for the domestic ham. —Ali Francis, staff writer