People-pleasing, putting others first and perfectionism are all telltale signs of good girl syndrome.
According to a famous song from the 1970s ‘Good Girls Don’t’.’ Unfortunately, many women fall into this trap, resulting in personal unhappiness and lack of fulfilment. But what actually is good girl syndrome? Here’s a look at common symptoms and how to break from the trap.
What is Good Girl Syndrome?
Good girl syndrome is not a recognised psychological term, but it is used to describe a person who has a certain behaviour or tendencies that could actually lead to people pleasing, seeking external validation or trying to perfect all the time. These are the behaviours that society has set for girls. Like, girls should behave in a way, they shouldn’t have strong opinions, shouldn’t raise their voices, should always be well-spoken, and shouldn’t argue back. Sometimes, it can be societal pressure or may be times, trauma that changes a person completely. Emotional or physical trauma can change the personality of women, from bold and confident to sensitive and underconfident girl. Yes, good girl syndrome can be beat. However, you must first notice some of these symptoms, which can serve as a red flag:
- People pleasing: The habit of pleasing people all the time can take a toll on one’s mental health. It can start from difficulty in saying no, doing unhealthy things like starving yourself, getting manipulated easily, and not listening to your inner voice. The person may start losing trust in himself/herself completely.
- Fear of Rejection: The persistent worry that someone will judge or disapprove of you might make you avoid disagreements, arguments, and decisions—even simple ones like what to eat or wear. Even when people are dissatisfied with a situation, this fear may prevent them from speaking up or expressing their opinions.
- Perfectionism: Trying to achieve perfection in all facets of life, setting unattainable standards, and becoming depressed when one is unable to do so. There are certain standards set by society that a person might try to achieve and it can lead to certain mental health issues like OCD, depression, anxiety etc.
- Setting Boundaries: Setting clear personal boundaries and communicating one’s limits in an assertive manner can be difficult, which results in neglecting oneself and self-care activities. Since the person may have a people-pleasing tendency, it’s difficult for him/her to say no to certain things.
- Taking Responsibility For Everything: Women experiencing such tendencies may assume to adapt the roles of caretaker or a relationship fixer. This may have an impact on their decision-making, causing them to form relationships that are both caring and fundamentally unsuitable.
- Feeling Guilting For Prioritizing Yourself: If the person starts taking care of his or her own needs, then there may be a sense of guilt which makes them feel wrong. This can make the person confused and anxious all the time.
How to Overcome Good Girl Syndrome?
Well, it’s not easy to overcome it in a day, but here are certain tips that one should keep in their mind to reduce the impact.
- Seek professional help- Start with regular counselling sessions. Don’t be afraid to go to a therapist or what society might say.
- Learn to set boundaries
- Stop seeking validation from anyone.
- Listen to your gut feeling
- Stop being emotionally dependent on anyone
- Love yourself first rather than the idea of other people loving you.
Good Girl Syndrome is when girls and women internalise stereotypical cultural messages about how they ‘should’ act. Taken to extremes, this behaviour can impact your body, mental health and personal relationships.
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