12pm
As we walk in our private gardens I have to try to escape the dogs that insist on coming up to me. Dogs love me. Whenever I’m playing poker at Julian Clary’s, he’s always astonished by how much his three love me, but I was bitten on the ankle by one when I was four, so I’m a little wary. If I see a baby in a pram, however, I will always stop and talk to it. I’m such a baby person. Babies love me, too.
1pm
After that we’ll usually call my various children and see if any of them want to come out for lunch. They’ll probably say no, because they have their own lives now, but I do enjoy going out to lunch. I love restaurants generally – the theatre of it. Percy always says that people look at me when I walk around, and I don’t either enjoy it or not. I don’t even notice it, to be honest. I’m usually too busy looking at babies.
1.30pm
I’m pretty good at controlling my intake of everything, not just alcohol, so I’ll usually just have one glass of wine with my lunch. I don’t understand why people seem to find self-discipline so hard. For me, it’s really very simple: I want to look, feel and be a certain way, and I know I won’t get any of those things if I’m a glutton. Also, I’m not very tall: I’m 5ft 5in, so I couldn’t eat as much as some of my friends even if I wanted to. I’ll generally only eat half of what’s on my plate.
A long time ago, I was told, ‘Always leave the table feeling like you’d like a little bit more,’ which has been a life mantra. Also, I don’t eat crap. I mean, I haven’t had a doughnut or a hamburger bun in years; I simply will not eat that sort of thing. But I will eat birthday cake – mine or somebody else’s – I do drink wine, and when I’m in California [where she spends part of the year] I will eat finger sandwiches with my girlfriends. These little pleasures never descend into slobbishness, because I’m too aware of the fact that it doesn’t feel good – and that I want to fit into my clothes.
3.30pm
Percy and I watch more Dynasty together in the afternoon. You see this is actually the first time I’ve ever watched it. Isn’t that funny? I was always too busy. So now I’ll keep turning to Percy and saying, ‘Christ. How did they let me wear that hat?’ They put me in the most hideous hats! Also, I was so slender! It’s unbelievable how slim I was. I think I was 120lb, and now I’m 133. That’s 13lb more! But I’ve kept it down to that because from a health perspective, I’m aware that if you want to live a long life, you have to do the work. I hurt my back last year and a lot of people thought I probably wouldn’t walk again. But I did some serious physiotherapy, I did the work – and look at me now. In the end, life is all about work ethic.
I admire women who graft, but I’m shocked by the younger women from a certain generation who think it’s all going to be handed to them on a plate. The entitlement of some people nowadays is unbelievable.
7.30pm
I used to cook. Of course I did, I’ve raised three children. There are many dishes that I make wonderfully: toad in the hole, shepherd’s pie, spaghetti bolognese. But then, when Percy and I got together and I started making him my spag bol, he’d be there behind me in the kitchen, hovering, so in the end I said: ‘OK, you do it.’ Now, he does all the cooking, which is fine by me, because it means I can go and watch Friends on TV.
I want to point out that this is of my husband’s own volition. I can’t make Percy do anything he doesn’t want to do. He won’t even put on sunblock when he goes out to play tennis, even though I’ve been trying to make him for years. So now I just shrug and say: ‘You want to be all wrinkly like Joe Biden? Fine.’