Amy Winehouse‘s parents Mitch and Janis, have released snippets from her private journals from when she was a teen to honour the late singer’s 40th birthday.
And the sweet musings give an insight into her thoughts and feelings as she delights in being ‘different’ to everyone else’.
She also questions whether or not ‘love will cross her path’ and talks about the sort of partner she dreams of finding.
Amy sadly passed away on the afternoon of Saturday 23 July 2011 in her Camden flat from alcohol poisoning after binge drinking following a period of abstinence.
Her life was dogged by drug and alcohol abuse and she suffered with a long battle with bulimia.
Amy Winehouse’s heartbreaking private teenage journals are released by her parents: Late singer wrote she was ‘pleased to be different’ and questioned if ‘love was ever going to cross her path’ in sweet notations (pictured centre, in 2008)
While she was lauded as a voice of a generation, Amy’s notations prove she was aware that she stood out from the crowd.
In excerpts released by The Telegraph, Amy wrote: ‘I’m pleased that I’m different. It’s not like I want to be like everyone else. I love having my own individual style. I love being loud and mouthing off to people. It’s the way I am.’
And she ponders over whether she will find love and what exactly she is looking for.
She added: ‘Sometimes I think, I wonder if there’s someone, some guy out there who’s as crazy as me? A nice guy with dark hair, who wears glasses to read and is a real Indie kid? Piercings optional, Scottish or Irish accent preferably!
‘And why do all my brother’s friends fit this description, yet I’m much too young to do anything about it?
‘Is love ever going to cross my path or am I destined to go out with metalheads or gorgeous guys with NO BRAIN.’ (One thing I despise).’
Amy also wrote about how she struggled with her feelings.
She said: ‘I hate my temper. At times it eats away at me so much that I get physically violent with those I love. However much I say I’m sorry, it’s something they can never forget.’
Amy’s parents have said they went through all of her work after she died and were ‘hard pressed to find much torment or misery in any of her writings’ but admitted that they ‘can’t say we truly understand her either.’
Amy famously married Blake Fielder-Civil, who she met in a pub in 2005 before marrying in Miami in 2007.
It was well-documented that they were heavily involved in drug and alcohol abuse and divorced after two years following a tempestuous six-year on-off relationship.
Six months into their marriage, Blake was jailed for his part in an assault on a pub landlord which led to Amy’s famous Grammy Awards tribute to, ‘my Blake, incarcerated’.
He went to prison in the summer of 2008 after being convicted of perverting the course of justice and grievous bodily harm with intent over an attack on a pub landlord.
During that time, Amy went to rehab, got a boyfriend and turned her back on hard drugs.
Blake filed for divorce from the singer shortly after his release and while she tried to get back with him, the divorce went ahead.
She was later in a relationship with film director Reg Traviss.
Blake was in prison serving a 32 month prison sentence for armed robbery when he discovered Amy had died in 2011.
Source: | This article originally belongs to Dailymail.co.uk