Alarm clocks basically traumatized me when I was a kid. I remember the long nights spent visiting my father’s apartment, unable to sleep, eyes darting back and forth for hours between the moon outside the window and the heinous, retina-burning Sharp digital alarm clock next to my bed. If you grew up in the 90s, you probably know some version of this alarm clock. I don’t really understand what its comically large, hell-colored digits really add to anyone’s bedtime experience, but, historically, people seem to absolutely fucking love this alarm clock—thanks to it, though, for most of my adult life I’ve been extremely against alarm clocks. That is, until recently.
Cut to today, when screens of another kind bring suffering. I’ve never been a scrolling-at-night-in-bed person, though I know many are; I have become, however, a 20- to 30-minute morning phone reader. I remember back in the old days (pre-2020), when I had an actual office to go to, I’d rise around 7:30 a.m., make a nice pour over coffee, maybe read in my rocking chair for a bit, do some stretching or yoga if my body asked for it, and then roll to the office wholly refreshed and put together. Today, however, in the weird era of WFH, I transitioned to waking up at 8:30 a.m. for my remote job that begins at 9; I’d take maybe 10 minutes to wake up, then look at my phone for up to half an hour, then make coffee and take my meds, eventually slithering to my office down the hall around 9:30. I hated it, TBH. It got so bad that some days I was literally setting a 9 a.m. alarm for a job that began at 9 a.m. Not good for your mind, your body, or your mood.
It started to make me feel genuinely very bad about myself, so I inevitably began complaining to my therapist. Usually she simply listens to me go off, but in one session, she swooped in with a mission: Go get an alarm clock. When I told her I hated alarm clocks, she said that if I really wanted to wake up earlier, feel more refreshed, and overcome my depressing morning doomscroll, this was the way; getting a nice alarm clock would allow me to leave my phone in the other room all night and not check it until I started work. In perhaps the only time I have ever obeyed my therapist, I realized the true appeal of returning to my former relaxing mornings, and so I began looking for an alarm clock.
I had a few criteria for my alarm clock search. First, it had to not have violent, red numbers, and they must have the option to be dimmed or turned off. Second, I wanted something with nice, soothing tones, not the blaring, annoying, soul-deadening beeps and buzzes emitted by my phone (and most alarm clocks). Third, I wanted something fairly minimal that looked aesthetically pleasing and fit into my bedroom’s general mood. Ultimately, I discovered a few different alarm clocks that don’t just hit the mark on all of the above, but also serve their most important purpose: to stop me from looking at my phone first thing in the morning.
Have I become the Übermensch simply from getting an alarm clock? The answer is yes. And you can be one, too. Whether you’re looking to ditch your phone, wake up calmly and blissfully every day, or simply improve the vibe of your bedroom, here are some of the best alarm clocks to accomplish those goals.
Loftie
When starting the process of looking for an alarm clock, I consulted with my colleague, Francky Knapp, who had tested the insanely popular Loftie a while back and had determined that it was actually great. (Feel free to head over to her review for more details on why she loved it.) Occasionally, there is a product whose hype matches or is even exceeded by how delightful the thing actually is. This is one such situation (another is the Balmuda toaster). I tried the Loftie, and loved its features: I could turn off the numbers at night, and it’s easy to set up; it uses two different alarms in tandem, which you can choose, and which can be ultra soothing but also loud enough to wake you up. I picked some waves and some kind of gong thing, and now I wake up every morning feeling like I’m emerging from a narcotic cloud of bliss and pure light—it’s like the auditory equivalent of the smell of bacon and pancakes. Honestly, it’s an amazing vibe. Also, there’s white noise and a bunch of other cool features, like using Bluetooth to listen to podcasts and music in bed (Francky loves playing sleep-inducing stories about King Arthur for some reason). Plus, if you really want to stay off the scroll, a smartphone isn’t required to set it up or operate it.
Philips SmartSleep
This is a futuristic-looking option that simulates a sunrise in your bedroom (the real sun apparently isn’t good enough for over 13,000 reviewers on Amazon). The idea is that it gradually increases (or decreases, if you’re using it to go to bed) light so that you wake up “naturally.” (There are actual pleasant audible alarms involved.) If my cat didn’t think this was some kind of toy or enemy, it might still be in use at my house. It’s a super cool alarm clock, and if you’re one of those people who wants to feel a connection with nature even though you live in a high rise condo building in Manhattan, definitely try it out.
$108.95$98.52 at Amazon
Echo Dot
The Echo Dot is Amazon’s incredibly popular—like, over 40,000 reviews for a 4.7 star average rating-popular—smart home device. By inviting Hal 9000 Alexa into your bedroom, you basically get an alarm clock personal assistant who will wake you up with the beautiful sounds of your choosing, including music. You can also connect it to your home and do all the smart home stuff people seem to love, from setting reminders to turning on and off the lights.
$49.99 at Amazon
Jall
OK, Jall has a big following, and its alarm clocks are on many, many lists of the best alarm clocks. While a lumberjack-tech aesthetic (it looks like wood) isn’t my personal vibe, it’s hard to deny that this attractive $30 clock, which has wireless charging, dimming, and multiple alarms, is a nice option. While the wood option is super popular, it also comes in three other colors, including white, yellow, and my personal favorite, black (and almost 10,000 people on Amazon also find it pretty attractive).
JALL
Wooden Digital Alarm Clock
$29.99 at Amazon
Braun
This super affordable (<$25) Braun model is just a classic, handsome alarm clock. No bells and whistles, no nature simulation or phone connectivity—just you enjoying your sleep in the moment. If I was going to abandon my phone and just choose a very basic, inexpensive alarm, this is absolutely the one I’d get.
Braun
Classic Analogue Clock
$33.33$23.33 at Amazon
Sharp
We all know this classic bad boy (either from your own life or from the intro to this article); it’s straight out of any early 90s TV show featuring a dream sequence that’s interrupted by that iconically loud beeping. Listen, this one’s not for me, but if you’re a heavy sleeper or just an old-school person who wants to be jolted out of sleep (heavy sleeper hive, rise up), this might suit your needs. Why am I including it here? I don’t know, maybe it’s just in my nature to face my demons at any cost. In any case, the goal here is to get the phone out of your room, and if for whatever reason huge numbers and a regular ol’ beep work for you, check out this classic clock.
Sharp
LED Digital Alarm Clock
$15 at Amazon
PPLEE
Want a sleeker, less abrasive, and modernized (but still huge) version of that Sharp alarm clock? This one from PPLEE is just that, but it also has a charging port and is less than $20, which is pretty tight. It also has a brightness dimmer and offers the ability to set two different alarms, if you’re sharing your bed.
$19.99$16.99 at Amazon
To quote System of a Down, “Wake up!”
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