Jimmie Allen is opening up about a dark time in his life.
During an emotional conversation with Kathie Lee Gifford, the country star recalled the moment he contemplated suicide after being accused of sexual assault by multiple women.
“I was sitting there and I literally felt like the whole world had just collapsed,” the father of six told Gifford. “Because the first thing my brain goes to is not the career, it’s ‘How am I going to provide for my kids?'”
In May 2023, Allen’s former manager accused him of sexually abusing her for a year and a half while they worked together. The woman has since dropped the charges against Allen, according to People magazine.
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Jimmie Allen’s former manager accused him of sexual assault in May 2023. (Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for dcp)
The “Best Shot” singer denied the allegations, and instead apologized to his now-estranged wife, Alexis Gale, and children for the humiliation he had caused them by having an affair.
Not long after, Allen was sued by two other women for sexual abuse. At the time, Allen filed two separate counterclaims and insisted the sexual encounters were both consensual, in court documents filed in Tennessee federal court and obtained by Fox News Digital.
After the accusations and lawsuits came to light, Allen recalled losing out on various business deals and eventually found himself in a dark place.
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“It hit me. My life insurance covers suicide,” he told Gifford. “I don’t feel that way now, but in that moment, when you feel like you have nothing in the midst of a society where it’s no longer innocent until proven guilty, you know you’re guilty. She said this, so it must be true.”
Jimmie Allen apologized to his now-estranged wife, Alexis Gale, and their children for the humiliation he caused them by having an affair. (Getty Images)
“I moved everything over to one phone, all my evidence, pictures, text messages, videos, everything. I was putting bullets in my gun clip. Right when I put the last bullet in, this was the freaky thing. I don’t get notifications to my phone… a text came through.”
“My friend Chuck [Adams] texted me. He said, ‘Ending it isn’t the answer.’ When I read those words that he text me, I read them again. I just stopped. I remember I called one of my buddies and he came up. I gave him my gun. I said, ‘Take it. I don’t need it.’ My mom flew in, and then I started receiving phone calls from different artists checking in on me, saying they love me, they care about me, they know who I am.”
Allen eventually sought professional help, but his battle with depression and suicidal thoughts remained very much present.
“Every single day, I remember battling: Do I want to live? Do I not want to live?” he said. “When bills get due. I’m like, ‘Man, my family would have X amount of dollars if I would’ve took care of something,’ but I realized that’s not the way to do it.”
“After a few months, I started to look at the situation different. It went from, ‘God, why is this happening to me?’ to ‘God, what am I supposed to learn?'” he added.
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Jimmie Allen battled suicidal thoughts “every single day” after sexual assault allegations. (Wyatt/ACMA2021/Getty Images for ACM)
Ultimately, Allen – who has son Aadyn, 9, from a previous relationship, daughters Naomi, 4, and Zara, 2, and son Cohen, 6 months, with Alexis, and twins Amari and Aria with a woman named Danielle – said he’s since found purpose.
“[I want] to continue to be honest with myself and being honest with everyone else,” he told Gifford.
“I am healing and growing for me and my children,” he added.
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If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
Fox News Digital’s Caroline Thayer contributed to this report.